This is a simple but powerful idea.
If a person is 2 meters tall, they can easily dunk a basketball on the hoop. If a person is 1.5 meters tall it would be completely unreasonable to ask them to do that on their own.
Physical traits are evident. You are white. You are black. You are short, you are tall. Long legs. Small hands. Big feet. Huge muscles. Skinny frame. Etc.
Some people might have long legs, you will have to run harder to keep up. You might not be able to keep up at all.
If someone is shorter than you and can’t reach something, you wouldn’t get annoyed. You would fetch them what they were reaching for or give them a stool so they can do it themselves.
When it’s physical it’s much more evident.
Sometimes also when it’s mental.
He can read faster than me, she can add up quicker in her mind, his memory is better, he thinks quickly, she can understand concepts I cannot, etc.
But we forget that our minds are as different as our bodies even in the little things.
“Just forget it man, it wasn’t a big deal. You spilled coffee on your shirt. No one cares.”
“It’s easy for you to say man, I can’t let it go”
“Dude seriously just forget it, okay?”
Why did the first person get annoyed? Because his friend couldn’t do the easy thing and let it go? We forget that our mind capabilities are as different as our body capabilities.
When someone is not neuro-typical, like someone with autism, we don’t expect them to think like us. We understand that they think and view the world differently.
When the cognition of the other person is radically different than ours we acknowledge this. Be it that they are way smarter, less creative, very thorough, have synesthesia, or simply are not neuro-typical.
It’s the little things that slip past us.
How you are better at staying calm in tense situations but your friend starts shouting. How easy it’s for your friend to forgive a grudge when you simply can’t let it go. How you boil with jealousy when your partner speaks with someone but they are chill when you talk with whoever.
Some minds have 3 hands and are very agile with numbers.
Some are made of concrete and are to convince. Some are of rubber and can adapt to anything. Some minds are like glass, some like steel. Some have 4 legs and can think very quickly. Some 1 arm and can’t handle new concepts easily.
The problem is that your mind is of rubber and has 7 arms and is really good at understanding new concepts but your friend’s mind is made of steel and has 2 arms.
You see the difference?
Both are considered neuro-typical but they have radically different abilities. Just like being short or tall.
So next time don’t get angry with your spouse because they don’t understand how to fill their taxes; or with a friend that, for the love of god, can’t understand the Pythagoras theorem.
Instead remember your minds are as different as your bodies, breathe, and start the explanation again.
If you take into account the composition of their mind (rubber or steel, how many arms and legs, etc) you will be able to communicate better with people.
That is also the key of why some things work for some people but not others. Your friend read a book that made him change his habits, but you read it and don’t change much. You watch a video that transforms your life but your friend finds it boring.
We can be so alike and so gigantically different at the same time.
When you internalize that minds are as different as bodies, the world changes.
‘Instead remember your minds are as different as your bodies, breathe, and start the explanation again.’ – What a beautiful piece with a critical and important message. If the world took your piece to heart, the world would be a far better place.